Seven, a story idea

An idea for a story I had awhile back, involving...dun dun duuun DEMONS!

Yeah I know what you're thinking, great, Mary Sues. Demons, Angels, vampires, werewolves, they've been done nearly to death. But I think this Seven story has some merit.

The Story is simple, the devil himself has seven sons/daughters, each of which represents one of the seven deadly sins. Each sin has a very distinct personality, and their own sub-section of hell given to them. Hell is like, a burning metropolis, literally...but kindof is reminiscent to Las Vegas. At any rate, here comes the plot. El Diablo is dieing. So he's going to have to appoint one of his children to take over the throne of darkness. But the devil is...kindof a jerk.

He decides to go out with a bang. He essentially says "kill eachother. Last one standing gets the throne". Commence action and fun.

See each of the sins IS a main protagonist, and they do have distinct personalities.

Pride (Vanity): A very succesful, strong and beautiful woman. She is one of the devils best and most loyal soldiers. She always works to get daddies approval (which often doesn't happen), but also enjoys the approval of everyone else. She was the 5th born, but one of the more powerful. Lust has always wanted to take her as his own, something she very commonly turns down. She very much enjoys looking at herself, and always has a mirror and a comb handy.

Sloth: Sloth was the first born of the princes/princesses of darkness. So he had very high expectations. So, imagine dad's frustration and anger when his first son turned out to be so lazy. Sloth has no ambition, wants the throne the least out of everybody. He doesn't care about heaven, hell, earth, or anything in between. He'd rather sleep, listen to music, or play some videogames. He has never succesfully accomplished a task given to him, at least not well. That being said, he's got a good personality, and is well liked amongst his brothers and sisters. He's also a lot more powerful and capable of a lot more then he lets on. Good friends with Gluttony.

Wrath: Wrath is daddies favorite. He was the 6th to be born, and is by far the most menacing. Wrath is a psychopath with severe anger management problems. He enjoys a bit of chaos, setting things on fire, blowing things up, and he REALLY wants that throne. he doesn't respect his dad though, despite the dad respecting him. He respects nothing, a bit of a lone wolf when it comes down to his siblings. He's still probably the only person that really ever visits Envy. He would kill his siblings in an instant if he feels he should.

Lust: Lust enjoys having fun. He is not really so much of a fighter as he is a fu- well...you get the idea. Lust was the second born, and actually decently approved of by his dad, because of the whole "that's mah boi!" thing. Lust has probably had a relationship with half the people in hell at one point or another. He is also inclined to flirt with some of his brothers and sisters. Yeah...incest...gross. But he's a demon, what does he care? Lust has always had a big crush on pride. When it comes to the competition though, Lust doesn't really want the throne. He just wants the right to party. He swings both ways, but prefers women.

Greed: Greed has a gambling problem. Always has. he loves making bets with people at the flaming horse races, he loves making bets with people on almost everything. And he loves to collect. He's a coveter and a kleptomaniac in his spare time. He's also by far the most well dressed out of the devils. Unfortunately, has is on bad terms with daddy, due to all of the debts he occasionally accumulates. He also doesn't usually pay those debts. When he loses a bet, or a poker game, he gets very upset, often killing his opponents. He's a little more lenient to family though. But just a little. Relatively well liked, but his brothers and siters are annoyed at always giving him gifts when they see him. He'd be insulted if they didn't. A very powerful demon. He was the seventh born. Lucky number seven.

Envy: Envy is not very popular amongst her siblings, except Wrath. Thus far she respects Wrath for his ruthlessness. It's not that her siblings don't like her, they just don't trust her. She hates how much money greed has, how much lust fawns over pride and not her (though she likely has had a special night or two with him herself, something pride can't claim), she hates how everybody likes sloth but avoids talking to her. She hates her dad. She hates a LOT. The only person she doesn't hate, gluttony, she makes fun of for being lower then her. Envy longs for, craves for the attention Pride gets. But she's not as attractive. In this competition, she's in it to win. And she is VERY inclined to team up with and betray her siblings. She kindof likes wrath...but her intentions are to kill him too. A very pitiful creature. She was the 4th born.

Gluttony:Gluttony is very very large. Originally, he was one of the devils best fathers, and highly respected. but then he got into eating...heavily. He has become lazy and fat, no longer really caring about his Dad's plans for global takeovers. Gluttony has power, and should not be underestimated...but he also isn't a big fan of many of his siblings. He hates how they mock him behind his back. Sloth doesn't though...he likes sloth. He HATES Envy. He won't let envy anywhere near her. Gluttony has hundreds of servants to feed/care for him. That is mostly his only company. Not even lust would tap that. That being said, Gluttony is also a lot sharper in wits then most of his brethren. He WOULD be a decent leader if he could take the thrown, and when he hears about his daddies illness, he decides to give fighting one last shot. And there IS a LOT of muscle somewhere behind all that fat. he was the third born.

These are essentially the main characters of the story. Each of them has different goals, and rest assured, they will very often team up/betray with eachother. But in the end of it all, there can be only one left. They don't necessarily dislike eachother, but...

I want it to be dramatic when any one character dies. They're ALL main characters. Anyway, this is the basic structure of this idea. Whatchya think?

Can I just say wow, I really love this idea. What you've got here could actually turn out really well. You've got seven characters that could appeal to a large audience, different audiences. They could carry a personal truth about mortals since we're slightly composed of these very sins. That is to say if you want to get that deep and appeal to human character.

The detail you've put into each character really reflects the sin they are meant to be. However, maybe given them their own unique quirk that could possibly make them less of a sin; a weakness that makes them look...mortal! *gasp* I know, so shocking.

You could also have a lot of fun playing with love triangles. I'd definately be interested in reading if you threw in some love and betrayal scenes. Those are so captivating X3

Please write! <3

Actually, i already have one such concept kindof planned You see, the character lust kindof occasionally has thoughts about like "What would my relationships be like if they were...you know...REAL?"

Well he tries to form a real relationship with pride. it doesn't work out well for him for a LOOOONG time, but might eventually spark something. What would likely happen is, Envy, who hates Pride, would try and get pride to kill lust XD. Or something of the sort. Envy might flirt with lust too...and basically test his "love"

Oh, well that sounds absolutely devious! X3 Seriously, that would really enforce everyones characters if planned out right. Perhaps make the relationship between Lust and Pride seem...well...fragile. Hard to explain but make it seem like a hopeless ideal, but not enough to make it seem like Lust is some love sick puppy. That would just be...not so flattering for a character who sounds amazing already ya know? XD

I think dialogue and tone would be key for moments like those. o3o

Like the idea, but I would warn about trying to juggle too many characters at once. If you have over four major players at a time people just tend to get lost. Not to say don't have seven major characters, just if I were you I would seperate them out. Maybe convieniently locate characters who feature in the same subplots in the same general region, so you can develop them and their stories in more detail before bringing them together. Once the characters are established you shouldn't have to worry about people getting them too confused.

EllieMary wrote:

Like the idea, but I would warn about trying to juggle too many characters at once. If you have over four major players at a time people just tend to get lost.

Well that depends. I myself have well over thirty characters, all canon, throughout my series (and they are all in it together, across series) and so far I've yet to find someone befuddled.

Granted I do typically focus on one or two characters, and typically don't have all of them in the same story, usually just the core cast, SWATS, which is ten characters. It all depends on the writers ability to balance a large cast with coherence.

That said, it takes a little bit of luck and skill to do a Seven Deadly Sins story because you can't have one without having seven characters.




In other news, at first I thought he was posting this for me. xD Then I thought he stole my character's name. Then I actually read the thing. XD Sounds interesting. But aw, c'mon... You didn't get really detail with Lust! ;P Don't be afraid... Jooooooin ussssss... You miiiiiight liiiiike iiiiiiit... (Just don't try doing it with lolies. Unless you're a known loli-advocate, and your cast has always had lolies in it. Otherwise it ends badly.)

Firstly, believe me, Lust is bit more rated R in the story itself XD. And while yes he probably WOULD like loli, i'm not sure it will ever pop up in the story.

As for being careful not to confuddle things with having so many characters at once, they do split into groups kinda. It really ends up being something like Wrath + envy vs. greed + pride + Lust vs. Gluttony + Sloth. So it hopefully won't get too confusing. The teams DO however change every once in awhile, because..well..THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

If, perhaps, you wrote it in anime or manga style, you would be able to use all of these characters, and yet also rely on dialog to progress the story. The fights would be better too!!!

What Elle said, I think she's kind of downplaying human intelligence. I know some people might have a hard time with telling the characters apart but that's where character tone and development become so key. If you're truly a good writer you should be able to give each character a unique voice and personality. That way there's no confusion. People will be able to associate words with each character's personality and would be able to say 'Oh because this was said then this must be Lust.'

Besides, I've read books where there have been four or more main characters and I never had an issue with getting them confused. O3o;;;

But anime/manga style would be rather interesting. o3o Good call Phem!

Natoxi wrote:

Besides, I've read books where there have been four or more main characters and I never had an issue with getting them confused. O3o;;;

Yeah, Steve Berry's The Venetian Betrayal and The Third Secret have well over four main characters and I haven't been confused once. TVB's got eight actually, I believe.

In my defence, I didn't mean so much 'only ever have four charcters at a time' as don't try to introduce them all at once.
I don't know, maybe I was just really scarred by Enid Blyton's Famous Five. Brilliant author, way too many main characters. There were five of these kids, all main characters, and they were all the same: middle class English school children who went around solving mysteries while seemingly attached at the hip. I read so many of those books, but I can still only remember one of the five: Paul. Paul, I remember because in one of the books, while they were in India, he bought a defanged snake from a street vendor, and the rest of the book was pretty much everybody telling Paul he was a horrible person and that his snake was going to die.
Btw, just incase anyone was wondering, (spoiler alert!) Paul's snake dies at the end.

Awww...poor Paul. And don't worry Ellie, I see what you were saying XD. I have no doubt that giving each character a very different voice to distinguish them from the others WILL be difficult. But I think it will be possible.

EllieMary wrote:

In my defence, I didn't mean so much 'only ever have four charcters at a time' as don't try to introduce them all at once.
I don't know, maybe I was just really scarred by Enid Blyton's Famous Five. Brilliant author, way too many main characters. There were five of these kids, all main characters, and they were all the same: middle class English school children who went around solving mysteries while seemingly attached at the hip. I read so many of those books, but I can still only remember one of the five: Paul. Paul, I remember because in one of the books, while they were in India, he bought a defanged snake from a street vendor, and the rest of the book was pretty much everybody telling Paul he was a horrible person and that his snake was going to die.
Btw, just incase anyone was wondering, (spoiler alert!) Paul's snake dies at the end.

Well, it works both ways. It's usually a bad idea to try to juggle too many characters. I know that from first-hand experence, and having a bad memory doesn't help. I've had to rework several of my characters because I had forgotten what was cannon and what wasn't, because was trying to remember too many events at once. Equally, it's a bad idea to shove someone into the middle of multiple characters, as you said. It either takes skill to pull off, or guts to do it without looking back. *raises hand*

Actually, I do worse then introduce them all at once. I don't even give anyone a lowdown on who they are, depending on previous stories and information archives for that. 'Been really tryin' hard to cut down on the length of what I write, and the biggest problem was overdoing introductions and explaining technology and OMW-Universe physics in the middle of a story. So I've turned to an all-or-nothing approach, sometimes using a Cast Directory on some minor stories, or stories where it matters that a character is different from his or her typical image. (Like ShadowStudios )Streets of Wien which it would be outright stupid to have a futuristic Mk. 7 in the middle of war-torn WWII Soviet Russia.)

LOL! Woww, I LOVE this idea! It's brilliant. You're descriptions one each of the deadly sins are hilarious. XD
In what perspective are you writing this story? Like, is it going to be in each of their perspectives, alternating?
Great idea you have here, love it!

Yeah, that's the plan...switching perspectives. For example, on chapter might be through the eyes of Wrath...who is...I don't know, heading to kill Gluttony who sent assassins after him or something. Then the perspective might go to Gluttony in the next chapter, or Sloth who happens to be visiting Gluttony as Wrath breaks in. I'd have to change the voice for each character, which will be a challenge.

But yeah, changing perspectives.

Changing in perspectives sounds like a fun idea but, once again, you'll have to keep in mind that language is going to be absolutely key. You'll have to be rather precise when you switch characters. Maybe have some key words or phrases that make it clear that it's one character over another. Just something that makes them unique. Not like they haven't proved to be so unique already.