The Melancholy of Red Soldier & Pink Sniper (And their shennagans)

Just something I came up with while screwing around on Halo: Reach a few days ago, and worked aroung with for the past two days in the Theater.

So, there I was, playing Forge on Hemmorhage with myself, and I decide: "I wanna practice evading missiles." So I go onto my cable controller, boot up one of my offline profiles (one of three; I have eight all in all) and good lordy, it's a Pink Spartan. I think that that would be hilarious because it would be horribly embarrasing to be shot down by a guy in Pink armour, so I go ahead with it. Well, I screw around with other vehicles and the such, have a few melee battles (lol 4x Overshields and 500% damage resistance) and all told it lasts Two hours, Three minutes and fifty-eight seconds.

During the whole ordeal I kept acting like I was making some kind of chase scene, so I boot up the Theater and start searching for stuff. Well, sweet jebus, I sure got a lot of stuff. 100+ screenshots, about 20 film clips, and three spur-of-the-moment series: The Melancholy of Red Soldier & Pink Sniper; SAM Sites; and Combat Blues.

So, once my dilemma with Xbox not shifting a charge to a new card is over, I hope to get all of these screenshots and put them somewhere, most likely my DeviantART account.

Some background on the series:

SAM Sites: A miniseries of The Melancholy of Red Soldier & Pink Sniper, in which Pink Sniper, a steryotypical female gamer (as in completly baffled) who can't aim worth beans hides in Hemmorhage's two bases with a rocket launcher, trolling Red Soldier in his Falcon by being annoyingly hard to hit. Usually, Red Soldier can evade Pink Sniper's horribly aimed rockets and locked-on ones, but Pink Sniper is a troll, and trolls always have something going for them. Still, Red Soldier, ever the badass, makes having your Falcon blow up from underneath you look awesome.

Combat Blues: A collection of humours images depicting awkward or embassaring moments on the battlefield such as: Developing a nasty itch in your groin while you're trying to blow up a Red Soldier from atop a hill while geared-up in a ninety-ton suit that appears to have no means of coming off; Getting taken down by someone who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn OR the trees behind it with a sniper while you're in a Falcon. An of course, totally driving over two landmines without noticing either one.

The Melancholy of Red Soldier & Pink Sniper: A series of images depicting the age-old battle between frontline soldier and sniper, man and woman (?!?) and a bad case of mixing colours with whites in the Spartan Laundromat. (Also baffling, because it's a huge furnace, so how in the hell do colours blur?!)

Red Soldier is a hardcore, burly, badass ODST... Who hasn't a clue what the hell he's supposed to do in the middle of nowhere. He's always got his trusty Rocket Launcher, and is quite the marksman. However, he clearly doesn't have an education, for his is eternally fasinated by his own left hand. Or maybe he's inbred, it's hard to tell the difference. He found himself at Hemmorhage for some reason, but his continued fasination with his left hand keeps why he was there elusive from everyone. Especially himself. Not that much cares, he's so fasinated with his left hand that that dumbass Chief can go stick himself in Cryogenic freezing so he can do whatever it was he said he was going to do for all he cares.

Pink Sniper is a pissed-off ex-RED Team designated marksman who holds a grudge against whoever put her armour in with the whites. (Because RED Team is almost completly comprised of illerate, largely stupid, burly men who still don't know that their suits have built-in identifiers, and instead rely on the colour of the suit for discerning friend from foe. Not that it matters anyways, because they typically go wild on each other.) Nobody would listen to her when she said she was a RED Team member, so she left and wound up at Hemmorhage to go smoulder alone. Little did she know she wasn't alone, and that she wasn't a good shot- the BLUE Team members were just incredibly slow movers, and routinely drunk through and through. Pink Sniper is a through noob when pitted against Red Soldier, who is far to energetic, and often resorts to camping to solve problems. She really hates the fact that Red Soldier is far too anoying to just leave, so she's doggedly trying to kill him so she can die in peace. Too bad, because she doesn't know that her knife is ceramic and isn't going to come out of Red Soldier's face in one piece. Not that she even knows she's got a knife, mind you. She still thinks she can leap off a cliff to her death in her suit. (Funnier yet, she can't for the life of her figure out how to take her suit off even though she somehow managed to get the colour faded in the wash.)


Join Red Soldier & Pink Sniper as they try in vain to kill each other, and show off their mad ninja skills (of which they are unaware of, even though they routinely find themselves teleporting right before they die to somewhere else) in Hemmorhage.

The Melancholy of Red Soldier & Pink Sniper. Three Series, Two Spartans, One Man, Zero Sense, Total Whack.

HARK!

These shots were taken offline (all 125 of them) and Bungie apparently has no facilities for auto-uploading to online if you're disconnected at the time.

So, it would be a while before I can get to them. I *might* have then by the weekend's end, if the Windows Media Centre attempt works, but other then that I might need help to take them off my hard drive.


Update:

I might be putting in a third character, the Interloper. A sickly green (unless I did change it) guy who shows up a random, usually getting owned because he pisses Red Soldier or Pink Sniper off. Also highly stupid, making Red Soldier look inteligent.

PLUS! If anyone of you have Reach, I made a spin on the One Shot Magnum Free For All that I'd like to gather a few people to test out and tweak.

Basicially, it's 10% damage resistance, no shields, and 300% damage on weapons and melee. You get both a Magnum and a Plasma Pistol, but they both are one-shot kills.

The tweaks are:

No sensors. This is just like SWAT Magnums, only a hell of a lot faster.

No regen. Campers gonna camp, but not forever.

Scoring. Just killing someone is going to get you nowhere, because if you have a 1:1 K/D Ratio, you'll have zero points. Deaths loose you a point. Special kills grant two points, or more.

Grenades. You get one of each, but watch out for the sticks! Gonna loose yourself some points! Bullets are your game, not grenades!

Respawn Times. Die often, and you'll spawn less often. Get kills to keep your times short. So you can die faster, too.

Leaderhax. If you're in the lead, you get yourself a shield, with low regen rates for both shields and health! You can take two shots before dying now. But watch out, because leader kills net bonus points for the killer!

Crazy respawns! For three short, beautiful moments, get max speed and low gravity! Bottomless clips! But everyone can see you while you're having fun. Just watch out! Jump too high and you'll die on impact!


One tweak I'm thinking of is going limited ammo, with no pickups. If I could do it, I'd have everyone start with just one clip's worth. Halo: Black Ops ftw. (Because you can't do anything except clip worths.)

My current Gamertag (I have eight, as I think I said xD) is xXxExcelSagaxXx for those interested. I've also got a tweaked Firefight version I'm working on modifying to make things a little easier on Legendary, called Real Spartans! Basicially some very minor tweaks to buff all the Spartans to what you'd expect of a Spartan, without giving them invicibility. Player Elites only spawn once per wave, but net five lives and are fairly tough to kill.

Another version is Halo: Last Stand, where Spartans have wicked high stats (not quite invincible, but not easily killable) but only one life, with no ability to get another one. Player Elites are fairly tough, to give the Spartans something to worry about, but aren't going to be able to wipe the floor with the Spartans. Not made for competitive Firefight, but more for a cool, realism-like Firefight with true Spartan prowess.

Notable tweaks:Spartans do double damage, and are very hard to kill. BUT! The Elites, if crafty enough, can deal an Assasination to rout a Spartan right then and there! (Headshots have no effect.)

To make it fair, Player Elites do not have Active Camo or Evade. Assasinations have to be because of skill or Spartan Ignorance! Spartans are equipped with a Sparlan Tazer/Splazer and a Shotgun for the vanilia version. Other combos feature:

DMR/Assault Rifle + Magnum
Rocket Launcher + Magnum
Shotgun + Magnum
Sniper + Magnum

(Most weapons + Magnum lol)