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Southwood's EWC4UI Writer's Craft Course 2010
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 Hello And Goodbye

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Veteran Writer
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Age : 26
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PostSubject: Hello And Goodbye   Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:24 pm

Hello my love,
I write this when the sky is crying.
The tears are made of blood,
The lightning, metal shells,
and the thunder is made of wounded dying too early.

My love,
I miss you everyday,
I've lost count of the hours.
The shelling has replaced my clock.
Rhythmic thuds becomes ticking,
Cries and moans become my alarm.

My friends have fallen,
Punctured by bullets,
Pierced by their bayonets.
They lay there;
Broken dolls with severed strings.
Bodies unable to be carried home.

What remains of them, anyway.

My love, I come to you soon.
Whether by free will,
Or by my friends.
I promise to return,
One way or another.

Goodbye my love.

Last edited by GoldScarb on Thu Nov 18, 2010 4:48 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Experenced Writer
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PostSubject: Re: Hello And Goodbye   Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:38 pm

Nice work! This is such a sad topic to read about. But nonetheless, it's still reeeally good! The words you used are very effective.
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Ocean Seven
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PostSubject: Re: Hello And Goodbye   Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:45 am

Wave Buddies! I was thinking about something on the same line myself three days ago. (Albiet with a different recipient and thus different lines, but same feel.)

The awesome is overwhelming!


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Gentlemen! You can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

"I am Forgotten. I am a Defender of Humanity. I risk my very existence every moment of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year. History will be grateful for what I have done, but history will not know who I am, or what I did. I will not be remembered by anyone, anywhere. When I pass on, nobody will know who I was. I live to block the deadly fragments of a grenade; to take a bullet meant for another; to be in harm's way, so that another will not. I exist for the sole purpose of dying. But for what? This is my life, for all it is worth. I am Forgotten."

-Motto of the Forgotten First Legion, 1st Reborn Fleet
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PostSubject: Re: Hello And Goodbye   Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:10 pm

Good poem. Nicely done. It gave me a sad. But i really like the way it flows. ^^
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