Location: Planet Vatakine (Telmissa’s home planet), Ace and crew have just arrived. They argue to decide on who does what.
Ace: (sounds pompous) As the hero, and the most muscular person here, it’s my duty to fight Dutch Vader to rescue the laundry (poses dramatically).
TX-88: (sounds mockingly polite) What about the princess?
Ace: (falters, but recovers) Of course we’ll rescue What’s-her-name. (Arrogant voice, big smile) Well done TX, it’s good that I test you on these things isn’t it. (Slaps TX-88 on back, but winces) Oww!
TX-88: (strained voice) Of course sir. (Becomes anxious and distracted, constantly looks toward oil cans) I’ll just stay on the ship shall I? Just to keep the engines going in case of a quick escape.
Ace: (Blinks, than smiles widely) Wonderful idea TX, I must be rubbing off on you (Laughs obnoxiously)
Mac: (interrupts, monotonous voice) Well that’s scary.
Ace: (Blinks, looks confused and than ignores Mac) TX you guard the ship. (looks at Mac) Mac you do whatever it is that you do. Use some of your space magic (Mac face palms). Now I, donning my Mighty Gloves of Manliness (puts on a pair of pink oven mitts), shall go beat Dutch Vader and rescue the laundry (stops a dramatic pose at Mac and TX’s look). A-and rescue the Princess of course (laughs nervously, scratch the back of his head). (Stops and looks seriously at the others) Now there is one thing we must do before we’re off.
TX-88: (looks startled and apprehensive at Ace’s seriousness) What’s that Ace?
Ace: (closes eyes) We must (TX leans in, even Mac looks somewhat interested). We must (Ace starts to shake, before exclaiming). We must strike a dramatic pose (Ace strikes a pose, TX and Mac shake their heads before walking away together). (Ace blinks before calling after them, whines) Guys, I didn’t dismiss you (Blinks and shakes his head). Oh well, I guess the universe is once again in my large, muscular, manly hands (shakes head and runs off in the same direction as TX and Mac. Comes back a second later running in the opposite direction).
Location: kitchen, Telmissa is taped (Al dente Pasta) to a chair, Baron standing behind her. Alphonso is in front of them, Archie is frantically searching for his spice rack.
Baron: (walks around to face Telmissa, acts like grandiose villain) Why won’t you submit Telmissa (acts disappointed), it would be easier to just change religions. (tempting voice) You get to eat wheat, it's good for you.
Telmissa: (furious) I’ll never join you, never! (Struggles against pasta, gives up. Furious voice) What did you bind me with?! Unbreakable diamond filament!
Alphonso: (Interrupts, evil smirk, cocky voice) Even better, it’s made of something you can never escape. Al dente, whole wheat pasta (pauses for dramatic effect), and the only way you’ll ever escape is to eat your way out (laughs maniacally)
Telmissa: (Gasps, nearly in tears) No you're lying, that's not possible! (starts crying)
The door to the kitchen opens silently and Rocket Rhino enters. He roars ferociously, then gently close the door. Shocks Baron and Alphonso)
Telmissa: (joyous) Rocket Rhino! You came to save me, oh I’m ever so grateful.
Alphonso: (thinks quickly than turns to Archie) Archie, that cruel Rhino took your spice rack.
Archie stands still, blinks, than grabs a tong in each hand and clacks them together.
Archie: (scuttles towards Rhino) Crab battle!
Rocket Rhino and Archie start fighting, forcing themselves to the door (Archie yells crab battle all the way). They pause at the door and gently open it. Rhino motions Archie out like a gentlemen, Archie nods, says thanks and walks through the door. Hear loud crashes throughout scene.
Telmissa: Rocket Rhino! No, don’t leave me!
Baron: (laughs triumphantly) That’s right princess, you’re all alone now, Ha ha ha. (Acts impatient) now be quiet, I have to make a phone call. (picks up cell phone) Hello, Dutch? Ah good, listen we have the master plan set up for Ace, so hurry up and get down here (hangs up phone, not waiting for an answer).
Telmissa: (acts fearful) What master plan? Answer me Baron!
Baron: (acts gleeful, but evil) Why it’s simple my dear Telmissa. I have a tiny net made of old pasta. (becomes impatient) Now come on it’s time to leave.
Telmissa: (gasps) You’re a beast, Baron, a beast.
Baron drags Telmissa out on her chair, followed by Alphonso.
Dutch enters and waits for Ace. Ace enters and starts at seeing Dutch. Dutch quickly throws the tiny net at him. It breaks apart in mid-air and Ace laughs.
Ace: (laughs uproariously) What was that Dutch? You can no longer be considered my mortal enemy. You’re just a looser now.
Dutch: (angrily responds) First off, not my idea! Secondly when have we ever been mortal enemies?! You’re a minor annoyance at best.
Ace: (grows angry) Minor?! Minor?! I’m not minor, look at these massive muscles (Flexes). Besides I have these gorgeous looks (gives a cheesy grin). Anyway, how can you criticize anyone?
Dutch: (looks affronted) What are you talking about? I’m wearing the pinnacle of Dutch fashion.
Ace: (laughs) You’re wearing a frikkin’ pinwheel on your hat, a mask, a suit, and wooden clogs. You’re a freak.
Dutch tries to interrupt but is slapped by Ace.
Dutch: (sounds affronted and shocked) Did you just slap me?
Ace: That depends did it go something like this (slaps Dutch again)
A slap fight starts between Dutch and Ace. Ace is beaten back and falls to the ground.
Dutch: It’s time Ace, for you to die! (Starts rotating his arms in a circular pattern making whooshing noises, Ace is in pain) This technique I learned from the Dutch elders. It’s called the secret Windmill Technique of Pain. Known to few, Mastered by ONE!
Ace is in pain (curled into a ball), and Dutch looks like he is gonna win. Mac is walking up behind Dutch and smacks him with a wrench. Mac keeps walking and Ace looks up as Mac leaves.
Ace: He’s down (looks shocked). (Laughs and strikes a pose) I am victorious Ha Ha Ha. I guess I was just too much man for him. Now I’m off to save the laundry (starts running, than pauses) and What’s-her-name.
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